…Or the Day My Co-dependency Ended

The day that my co-dependency ended was the day that I decided that it was okay to be me.

It was the day that I decided that who I was was good enough. That I didn’t have to continue to push, strain or strive endlessly to be better. That I didn’t have to prove anything to anyone… even to myself. And that I didn’t need to be anything more than I was right in that moment.

It was the day I knew that I was not just okay — I was more than okay.

My co-dependency ended the day that I decided that I didn’t have to ask permission to breathe or justify my existence.  That I didn’t have to please others or try to be like them. That I didn’t have to live up to any tradition or follow in anyone’s footsteps.  That the only acceptance I needed or wanted was self-acceptance.

It was the day I decided that I could just be me with nothing added.

My co-dependency ended the day I decided that my needs were at least as important as the needs of others. That I didn’t have to make things okay for other people or please them so that they wouldn’t dislike me or leave me.

It was then that I could see that I could give help, love and support to others and be open to receiving those things too. Giving was no longer a one-way street.

On that day, I realized that I might choose to change, but I would decide the if, how and when of it. My decision to change would not be driven by any outside force or influence, but only by listening to that small inner voice within to guide me. And, if I chose to change, it would not be to please others or to be seen in a better light. My decision to change would come from a desire to be even more gloriously human and to live in even closer alignment with my most deeply held values.

The day my co-dependency ended, I knew in that moment that this was true freedom. Freedom to be who I am and that the world would just have to like it or lump it. No grovelling, no explanations and no guilt trips required.

They say that co-dependency is the disease of the lost self. If that is the case, then finally, finally I found me.

And I have a strong suspicion that the world doesn’t mind at all.