March 14, 2018
Sometimes they call us crisis-prone, conflict carriers or drama addicts
Some of us continually seem to find ourselves in drama-filled situations, so much so that it might give the impression that our lives are spent lurching from one crisis to the next.
Of course, there are those of us that are so accustomed to the drama, we might not even notice when we are in it. But for most of us, when things become uncomfortable, we wonder why we constantly find ourselves knee-deep in one calamity or another.
It’s true that crises happen over which we have little or no control. But there are any number of ways that we unwittingly create crises for ourselves.
For example, we create crises by starting arguments or generating other forms of conflict with others. Or we choose to do things the hard way. Or we see problems where there are none. And, if it there are no crises of our own to occupy us, we insert ourselves into other people’s cuffuffles.
There are terms for those of us who routinely generate crises… or chase them. We might be referred to as crisis-prone, conflict carriers or drama addicts.
There are many explanations for this way of behaving, however I wish to focus on just one. For the crisis-prone among us, crises can become a dodge. By that I mean that crises can unconsciously become a way of avoiding the deeper issues or problems of our lives.
Now, some of us may actually believe that we thrive on the drama. We may even fancy ourselves as world-class problem solvers. Or we may have an overweening need to be at the centre of the frenzied cosmos that we’ve shaped for ourselves, so that the idea of a peaceful inner and outer world may seem dull and boring.
However, my contention is this. No matter how adept we think we are at drama, we are nonetheless dodging something more important. Something closer to our hearts. Something deeper. Something more essential to our wellbeing. Something more fundamentally important to the spirit.
And likely something that is very painful.
So, maybe it’s time to begin a self-initiated inventory in which we ponder these questions:
⇒ How crisis-filled is our existence? And what role do crises play in our lives?
⇒ Which of these crisis situations represent genuine conflicts requiring resolution and which amount to making mountains out of mole hills?
⇒ Which are our problems to solve and which belong to other people to sort out?
⇒ What situations or issues could we simply let go of?
⇒ In what ways have we knowingly or unknowing caused or contributed to these situations?
⇒ What productive steps can we take to resolve lingering conflicts or heal broken relationships?
⇒ What is the cost to us of a drama-packed life?
⇒ What deeper issues might we be dodging through immersing ourselves in constant crises? What do we need to face once and for all?
And the last question:
⇒ Is it time to put our big-girl or big-boy pants on and take first steps toward bringing those deeper issues to resolution?
These will be but small steps in what will be a much longer journey, but it will be a journey worth taking, because the quality of our lives will be better as a result.